Recently I stood in the middle of the Gettysburg Battlefield where 53,000 young men lost their lives in the Civil War. They had goals and plans and great potential but none of that came to fruition because they died fighting so all could live free. Freedom is considered a valuable commodity and is available to all who live within our borders. Sadly, freedom is being replaced with a different kind of enslavement in our country that traps individuals and Imprisons families in dysfunctional abysmal living. Everyday lives are damaged and futures ruined due to the soul-destroying effects of pornography, the new slave master of our modern world. The pornography industry has grown to a billion a year industry. You read that correctly. Billions of dollars are made off of lust, sexual perversion, and sexual addiction. And that does not count the R rated movies that can be considered soft porn. Pornography has a pervasive presence in America and there seems to be no stopping it. Clearly, the pornographic industry is thriving. Some estimates count 60% of all websites as pornographic. The Nielson Net ratings show that in January 2002 there we are 27.5 million U.S. visitors to pornographic websites. But the year 2005, it is projected that Americans will spend over 0,000,000 a year on Internet, fee-based websites (USA Today, 2- 26-02). Annual rentals and sales of adult videos and DVDs top billion. Eleven thousand pornographic films are produced each year, which is 20 times more than that produced by Hollywood (Los Angeles Time Magazine, 1-6-02). Pornography is big business; a business that would like to trap your child and mine. Even though the proliferation of pornography in Its current form is new, exposure for kids to it is not. I grew up in a rather conservative Southern Baptist Christian home. My parents We are quite strict when it came to almost every issue. My grand father's faith was not so deeply rooted. In fact, on every wall of his office We are pictures of nude women. You might think that my parents would bar their six-year-old son from going in that office but they did not. For some reason they thought there was no harm in it, but there was. It taught me that women We are objects, body parts, less than men, and something to be used merely for gratification in a disconnected manner. It did not take the internet for pornography to reach me as a child. With the publication of my book, Every Mans Battle, I have found my daily inbox full of emails from men who have read the book and wanted to write me. Some have even attended an Every Mans Battle Workshop. It is amazing how many of their stories begin with a common theme. They We are exposed to pornography while young, and though what they saw might only have taken 20 seconds to see, is still with them 20 years later. A child's exposure to pornography is clearly abuse and we must do whatever we can to prevent it. To that end I offer the following guidelines to parents:
*Lay a foundation of respect for women.*
A husband must connect with his wife, honor her, and treat her as something much more than a collection of amazing body parts. A father's love for his wife is the first Important building block to help your children reject the opportunity to view pornography. It will also help him view it as perverted, rather than something fun and exciting.
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*Remove all forms of pornography from the home.*
If someone in the family is hiding magazines or videos, an eager teen will find them, but an innocent child may stumble upon them. Parents must make the first commitment to integrity and not become the source of exposure to the children.
*Preventative measures need to be in place.*
Thesis measures include monitoring phone bills to ensure that phone sex charges are not present. It means examining the mail to detect any unusual subscriptions or books that may be pornographic. Movie channels from cable need to be blocked or not subscribed at all. An internet pornography screen and block installed on the computer will prevent free access to pornographic areas. It is also a good idea to keep televisions and computers out of kid's bedrooms and in family rooms where it is easy to monitor what is being viewed. Monitoring the history of website visits will allow for early detection of pornography viewing.
*Form an alliance with the parents of your child's friends.*
Never let your child spend time at a friend's house unless you know the parents we will. Ask them to agree that it is Important that you all maintain pornographic free homes and consult each other on what movies are appropriate and which ones are not. Teach your child the fundamentals of healthy sexuality. There are some key words they need to understand. Integration is one of them. The big temptation for a child is to live their life at school and church and then have a secretive, separate, and disconnected sex life. This not only separates sexuality from healthy development, it produces shame that also blocks integration. Parents who effectively teach their children to avoid putting sexuality in separate compartment help them avoid latching on to pornography and developing a private world around it. Integrity over bifurcation is another important concept. Most kids think that their young life is completely separate or bifurcated from their older adult life. But this is simply not true and kids need to know that habits of youth become habits of adulthood. Adulthood does not cure lust or addiction to pornography. Exploitation is another important concept to teach a child. They need to know that the pornography industry exploits young women. Teaching them that thesis young women lead lives of desperation helps they choose to avoid it. They also need to know that the industry wants to exploit them as we will. The industry wants to hook them into pornography and keep them as a paying customer for the rest of their lives. The above steps for parents seem so simple and basic, but most parents do not approach the subject until it is too late. They assume it is not going to be a problem until it becomes one. But if the above steps are taken, it is a parent's best hope that pornography will not infect the mind of their children. The diligent parent looks at pornography as seriously as child molestation. They should never assume that their child is Immune from the problem. Of course, no matter how hard a parent tries, there is little chance that a child can be completely protected from it in this sexually saturated society. As a result, the safe child is the strong child. The strong child knows that he or she has choices and that when tempted they can turn away. The strong child knows that pornography is wrong and that they can decide not to look at it. They can be taught to look away from what is not healthy or holy.
*One final note.*
Parents need to teach their kids that there is a way back if they have wandered off into the wilderness of pornographic sin. They must feel safe in confessing that they have been exposed to pornography or even obsessed with it. They must know that no matter what, there is a way back. Be a parent who offers grace when a repentant child confesses to the use of pornography. Online Christian Counseling is a nice way to get suggestions.
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